The "Perfect" Relationship

I think we've all had those relationships. The ones where everything is just so up and down, good and bad, happy and sad. You meet someone and within a matter of months you can't imagine life without them. And then one day they're gone. Either they left for school or a job or you grew apart or you tried to hang onto something that just wasn't going to work until every trembling piece of it fell apart before your eyes. You spend the next few months or years thinking about how great things could've been, and how you could've let the one person that mattered to you most go. How could they let you go? And maybe in the end you find it was for the best, but then what was every fight, every kiss, every "I love you" worth? It was worth everything. All of it. Even if following the initial break-up you found yourself thinking that you were a dumb ass for ever falling for him in the first place. Dammit.

Relationships aren't supposed to be easy. People seem to have this preconceived notion that the perfect relationship is a consistently happy one. That every minute you're with this person you're happy. But that isn't the case. I do believe that the person you love should make you happy every day, but not necessarily all day everyday. I mean, hopefully they make you happy almost every day all day. The point is, relationships without fights or complications really confuse me. The people I love most piss me off the most. And I don't expect any less from my future husband.

There are different aspects of relationships you have to fight for. But if relationships are all about compromise, then how come I often see one person giving their all and the other just doing their thing?

The first time I asked my mom what her relationship with my dad was like when they were younger, the first thing she told me was that when they broke up the first time she was essentially the most pathetic person alive. And I've seen the proof in writing, my mom was, and still is, head over heels for my dad. I remember always wanting that. I still do want that, because don't we all?

I find that very often people I know are wrapped up in completely crazy, roller-coaster romances. One minute they're happy, and the next they're not. But at the end of the night they always know if the fight or the tears are worth it. If that person is worth feeling every sort of emotion for.

Emotions are hard people. They really suck sometimes. My friend and I were talking about "perfect" couples last night and I just got so annoyed. If being the "perfect" couple means never having a fight or having your stomach in knots because the person you love has made a mistake, then I don't want to be the "perfect" couple. EVER. If you don't fight for your relationship or what matters to you, then what's the point? Where's the passion? I'm not saying "OMG couples that don't fight are weird, couples should fight all the time." Because NO NO NO that is not the case. But a good fight that leaves you bawling every once in a while can sometimes serve as a reminder of how important a person is to you. Want to know why? Because when you fall asleep the night following a fight, you realize there's no one else you'd want to fight with. Unless of course they really screwed up... in which case, it's completely acceptable to reach for the pint of Ben & Jerry's.

So that "perfect" relationship? 

The perfect relationship is when you can laugh like you do with your best girlfriends, eat copious amounts of food without judging one another, drool in your sleep, be your most imperfect self and not have to worry about, well, anything. The perfect relationship is fighting for the things that matter to you, even if they're small, and getting that "I'm sorry" call a few hours later. Or making that "I'm sorry" call. We've all been there. The real perfect relationship is the one you feel invincible in. It's the one that makes you wonder, "How on earth did I get so lucky?" It's the one where you never have to question if he'll pick you first. Because he will, every time.

p.s. WHY aren't they together?