a) doesn't even try to slow fade and just never calls,
b) calls, gets in your panties, and then proceeds to act like you don't exist,
c) allows you to torture yourself for a few weeks and wonder what you could have possibly done wrong to scare him off, or
d) assuming he's already done one of the above, suddenly starts texting you at 3am when he's drunk off his ass and feeling lonely.
This is not to say that girls do not make a habit of the slow fade themselves. They totally do. Plenty of my girlfriends just won't respond to a guy they're not interested in. I think the many attempts a lot of the guys make to get to know these girls is actually pretty sweet, but that might just be because I'm used to uncommitted, douche-baggy, two-timing players. Although, I've gotta say-- I was totally the chick who spent most of high school ignoring her Gordo in hopes that an Ethan Craft in the school would finally notice me. And then I lost my shot with Gordo, and want to know why? Because of the slow fade.
This poor guy liked me so much, he was my best friend, and every time he tried to start something up with me (or even if I tried to start something up with him) I'd be into it for a bit until for some crazy reason I started pulling out the asshole-y moves that I'm so used to guys using on me now. The slow fade. I guess karma really is a bitch. Or I'm just yet another 20-something girl too scared to get off her high horse and fall for somebody. I don't know.
Well, shit. Blair says it best.
But if I'm a total bitch, then so are all of you! Why the slow fade? Why not conversation? Tonight I was talking to my grandpa, who literally referred to a woman that he didn't want to "go steady" with quite yet. What happened to the days of going steady? Granted, I don't necessarily think they were the best of days. But at least when the economy sucked people still had romance! Now the economy still sucks and what do we have? We have "Oh my god, he just texted me. Quick! Help me figure out exactly what he means by saying, 'Hey, what are you up to tonight?'"
(Note: It always, always, always means he wants to see you and either a: get in your panties, or b: legitimately thinks you're a cool chick and wants to hang out.)
I just don't understand.
I know communication is a scary idea. Actual human to human interaction. Looking someone in the eye and telling them you're not interested? Just to avoid seeing their humiliation, or avoid feeling humiliated yourself? I'm not saying the 1960s had everything down pat. Judging from Mad Men, men still totally sucked then too. But at least every fight Don and Betty had was face to face and not through a telephone! We've got to stop being afraid to communicate our feelings. If you're not interested in someone, tell them. Use your words! Don't cut them out completely, you could be missing out on a great friendship-- or something that could be amazing somewhere down the line. People who know me are going to say I'm a hypocrite, and I wish I could take my own advice. I'm working on it. And I'm not trying to come off as a man-hater either. Seriously, women are just as guilty of this. Imagine how much easier the dating world would be if we all just actually opened up a bit?
Nobody wants to be the bad guy. But being upfront about your feelings, even if it is at the expense of another's feelings (within good reason, of course), isn't bad-- it's being honest. Something I think a lot of people will thank you for.
Mmk now go get drunk and tell everyone all the things you're too afraid to say sober. God knows we're all extremely good at that.
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